A totally different shade of blue than the sky I am

I know an infinite number of blues,
and though I mix them in all ways possible
my nuances never match the sky,
for to the sky only a foreign object I`ll always be.
And so the sky says to me that for ever I will be shut out,
cause my shade of blue is not for the heavens.

And I plead to the gates to please let me wear that blue,
but the colour is cruely denied me,
over and over again,
because that kind of blue does not fit me,
it is simply not my very colour.

A totally different shade of blue I am,
but nonetheless I force myself to wear that very colour,
a misfit I´ve become among men of uncertain colours.
Just like the light of the sun is so different to different kinds of people,
and just like one person´s light is anotherone´s grief,
and just because it is impossible for the sun to shine on everyone at the same time,
and even though noone is worthy of such a praising job,
your darknes was my light.

I cannot be your shade of blue,
I can no longer find a place to fit in among your confusing shades,
Only a deputy of your sun for a short second,
to quickly be turned away
shaded by the coldness of your moon,
Just a longing leaf where merely solid rocks are required.
A substitute for closer colours,
just an instant cure for lonliness,
nothing more.

Knowing, I can never be a colour of resemblance,
searching desperately to be what I can never be,
negotiating with the universal judges,
found inadequate,
enough blue for you I am certainly not.